


City-light Replacements

by swanofthelake



Series: Saving Thomas Jefferson [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Drabble, Jamilton - Freeform, M/M, Oneshot, STJ, Saving Thomas Jefferson, Unrequited Love, but not actually, hanahaki disease au, thomas’ perspective, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-08 00:02:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19860229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanofthelake/pseuds/swanofthelake
Summary: Thomas and Alexander have a strange, albeit sweet relationship. Enemies no longer, tentative lovers at best, they find comfort in the knowledge of the other’s lethal condition — Hanahaki Disease.Thomas finds it easier this way. His Hanahaki Disease may be worse now, but at least he has Alexander.At least he’s no longer alone.(Set somewhere in Saving Thomas Jefferson, Thomas and Alexander share a domestic afternoon together that is cut short all too quickly).Hanahaki Disease AU





	City-light Replacements

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Saving Thomas Jefferson, this was a challenge I set for myself. Start and finish a fic in one night.  
> Thank you my beloved Dani and Alice (LightninginaBottle) for beta reading this for me.  
> Please excuse any errors. This is more for writing practise rather than plot stuff. I hope you enjoy regardless.  
> Contact me at @swanofthelake on Instagram.

The coffee table couldn’t be seen beneath the stacks of paper-filled folders. Crammed beneath two files labelled ‘Reynolds’ Case’, a cup of coffee balanced precariously on the edge of the table. 

It had already grown cold, but Thomas hadn’t noticed. 

Someone else had, though.

“Are you going to drink that?” Alexander asked. Thomas saw him reach for it out of the corner of his eye. 

“You can have it,” he said, just a moment too late. Alexander had already finished it off and was buried in his work again. He sighed. “You shouldn’t have so much coffee, Alexander. It’s not good for you.”

Alexander ignored him; Thomas hadn’t expected any differently. 

“How does your chest feel?” He stroked his fingers through Alexander’s hair. Alexander leaned back against his arm — never quite against his chest, as though fearing he would somehow hurt him. As brusque as he was in speech, Alexander had always been careful when it came to Thomas’ Hanahaki Disease. 

After two years of suffering alone, it was a nice change. 

“Fine. And yours?” Alexander tilted his head back to look Thomas in the eyes. His eyes held nothing but genuine concern. 

“Fine, too,” Thomas said, ignoring the sound of his pulse in his ears. “Well, as fine as it gets.”

Truth be told, it wasn’t fine; Thomas’ lungs had been bothering him for the better half of an hour. But worrying had never done him any good, and it certainly wouldn’t put Alexander’s own worries to rest either.

They both had far too much to worry about to add Thomas’ own concerns to the mix. 

Speaking of which, the case concerning Maria Reynolds was still high on their priority list. With Alexander still reluctant to speak to her and James Reynolds an ever-present issue, Thomas felt as though he had bitten off more than he could chew. 

That wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg of his issues. 

“I have something to show you.” Thomas plucked a piece of paper from the mess on the table. “We have another meeting with Ms. Reynolds tomorrow,” he said. “It’s either that or tonight. Thoughts?”

Alexander was so absorbed in his work that it took a moment before he answered. Thomas wondered if he was simply pretending to have not heard so he could avoid the topic. 

“I thought we were staying in tonight,” he said without looking up. A subtle second meaning lay in his innocuous words — he wouldn’t say it aloud, not after their fight, but Alexander still wanted to stay as far away from Maria Reynolds as possible. 

Thomas’ fingers went still upon the papers in his hands. Alexander spoke so casually of their evenings now that it seemed as though they had never been apart at all. 

Such a thought made his heart skip a beat.

“Tomorrow afternoon, then,” he said. “I would’ve thought you wanted to speak with her sooner rather than later.”

“We don’t get time off often, Jefferson. Best to enjoy it while we can.” 

Thomas quirked an eyebrow in Alexander’s direction. “Never thought I’d hear you say that. What happened to non-stop work?”

Alexander gave him a wry smile. “There’s only so long I can stay seated at a desk before I think my chest is going to tear itself apart.”

Thomas knew the feeling all too well, perhaps more than he should. He had a box of flower petals under his bed to show for it. Not even Alexander knew about that box.

And if Thomas had anything to say about it, he never would. 

“That’s because you never exercise,” Thomas said. “Your chest wouldn’t hurt so much if you actually went outside for a change.”

“Sorry, Mr. I-Walk-To-Work-Everyday. Not all of us have time to do anything we want whenever we want.” Alexander gave him a rather vicious sidelong glance. 

“You’re just jealous you can’t walk down the stairs without getting puffed out.”

“I’ll kick you down the stairs in a minute.” 

“With what — your tiny foot? Good luck.”

“Piss off, Jefferson.” 

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you from down there.” 

“Right. You asked for it.” Alexander swept all of Thomas’ papers off of his lap. Before Thomas could utter a single sound, Alexander was clawing his way to Thomas’ side of the lounge and burying his fingers deep into his ribs. 

Thomas jerked away with a gasp; Alexander ruthlessly followed him along until he had squished Thomas between the lounge arm and himself. There was nowhere for him to hide.

“Get off, get off!” Thomas cried as he fought to push Alexander’s hands away. “You’re goin’ to wind me, you idiot!”

“Admit defeat!” Alexander narrowly avoided a kick to the shin. 

“Never.” 

This time, Thomas didn’t miss. He kicked Alexander clear off the side of the lounge, and Alexander hit the floorboard with a considerable thump. The cup on the coffee table wobbled threateningly, but stayed upright.

“Oh my god. That hurt.” Alexander rolled over onto his side; his glare was ruined by the smile on his face. “You asshole.”

“I remain reigning champion and you the sore loser,” Thomas said with a drawl. His sides were burning and he could hardly breathe, but Alexander’s smile made it worth it. 

Alexander opened his mouth, but his words were stolen away by the sound of a muffled ringtone.

They both fell silent. 

“Is that your phone or mine?” he asked. He began to fumble around, searching for the phone. He eventually pulled it out from the deep recesses of the couch cushions — it was his own phone. 

“Just ignore it,” Thomas said. “I doubt it’s important.” 

Alexander looked as though he wanted to take Thomas’ advice. 

“I better take it just in case it’s important,” he said instead, his smile already fading away. “Unknown number…”

Thomas shuffled closer until he could almost listen to the person on the other end of the phone. Even then, he had to hold his breath to hear.

“Hello, Alexander?” said the person. The voice was familiar, but they sounded too distant to be certain. 

“Who is it?” 

Sparing him only a glance, Alexander gently nudged Thomas away. “Sir?” 

It was only Washington, then, but clearly not the good news either of them had been hoping for. 

Alexander began to chew on his lip. 

“Right now?” he asked. “Thomas and I are working…” 

“What is it?” Thomas asked, his voice quiet. 

“Shhh, Thomas. I can’t hear.” Alexander moved to the other side of the lounge. “Sir, can’t this wait until tomorrow?” 

There was a pause, then Alexander scrubbed his hands over his face. “All right. No, it’s fine. I can come in.” He paused. “No, my chest is fine. Trust me, sir. I’ll be there soon. Thank you.”

He hung up the phone and turned back to Thomas. “That was Washington.”

Thomas fought to keep his face blank. “Oh?”

“I have to go.”

“It’s already so late, Alexander. Surely it can wait?” Thomas slipped his arms around Alexander’s waist, but Alexander was having none of it. He pulled away — Thomas bit back a hiccup — and snatched his phone off of the coffee table.

“I’ll be here later tonight.” Alexander slipped his phone into his back pocket and began to collect his papers. Thomas raised an eyebrow. 

“Where are you going?” he asked, his eyes following Alexander from one side of the room to the other. 

“I forgot to pick up some papers from Washington earlier, so he wants me to come in now. John found them on my desk and wants me to come in.” The strangest sort of expression flickered across Alexander’s face — a twisted frown.

An iron fist of dread began to constrict around Thomas’ lungs. 

“I’ll come with you.” He began to rise to his feet. Alexander waved him off with a dismissive hand. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be quick.”

Alexander didn’t need him; he was a grown man. He could take care of himself. But John Laurens… he was bad news. He loathed to leave Alexander alone with him for fear something would happen, but there wasn’t much he could do. 

Thomas swallowed hard against the lump of unease in his throat. 

“Don’t take too long,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I ain’t lookin’ for you if you get lost, Hamilton.”

A bold-faced lie, perhaps, but the ugly feeling in his chest had always brought out the pettiness in him — especially when it came to Alexander.

“Here comes a thought: I’ll get lost and never have to see your face again. Sounds like a win-win to me.” 

“At least I’d have the house to myself.”

“Zorro would have no one else to attack.”

“He wouldn’t attack me.” 

“A bold statement, that’s for sure.”

Thomas bit back a smile. “Get going already or you’ll be late. You’ll get in trouble.” 

“Fine, fine.” Alexander’s eyes crinkled up at the corners. “Remember to feed Zorro or he’ll tear up the bedsheets again.”

“Got it,” Thomas said. “Anything else?”

Alexander shook his head. “Nope.” 

“Wait, hold on, Alexander.” Thomas held out his hand. “Back pocket?”

Alexander frowned at him, but still rummaged around in his pocket. He dumped a handful of bright yellow daffodils into the palm of Thomas’ hand. Had he always coughed up so many? Thomas hardly noticed anymore. 

“There. Happy?”

“Now I am.” Thomas shoved them into his pocket to join the carnation petals he had coughed up earlier that morning. Simply knowing that they were there made his skin crawl, but he pushed the odd — yet familiar — feeling to the back of his mind. “Remember not to leave any lying around, okay?”

Alexander‘s jaw tensed. “I can take care of myself, Thomas.”

Alexander’s complaints should have been irritating; instead, they made Thomas’ heart softened. 

“I know you can, darlin’.” Thomas stroked his thumb along Alexander’s jaw. “It doesn’t hurt to let me worry about you, too, every once in awhile.”

The hard-set frown on Alexander’s face faltered and faded away; the steely look in his eyes softened. “I’m sorry, Thomas,” he said. “I’ll be more careful.” He reached out to grab Thomas’ hand and give it a gentle squeeze. 

It had been only a handful of months ago that Thomas would have laughed at the thought of Alexander Hamilton apologising, let alone to him. Yet here they were, as close as close could be.

Strange how things could change, Thomas thought. Even stranger how Alexander had changed, but that was a line of thought for another time. 

“It’s only for a little while,” Thomas said. “Until you get better.” 

“Until we get better,” Alexander corrected. “Not long now.” 

If either of them noticed the edge of doubt in Alexander’s voice, neither of them had the heart to mention it. Being blissfully unaware had been working fine for them so far — why change now?

“If you need me, call me. Do you know what time you’ll be home?”

Alexander shrugged, glancing at his wristwatch. “Maybe seven o’clock. I’ll call you and let you know.” 

Thomas followed Alexander just to the top of the stairwell — it was only two flights down and Alexander would reach the car park — then stopped. It was already long past dark outside; Thomas squinted, but he couldn’t see even a single star. The city lights were a fine enough replacement. 

Alexander seemed to like them just as much as he did the stars.

“Got your phone with you?” he asked. Alexander slapped his hand to his back pocket, felt around, then nodded. 

“Yeah.”

“Wallet?”

“Of course.”

“Good. You’ll be careful, won’t you?”

“I survived a hurricane. I’m sure I can withstand Washington’s wrath if I’m late.” A hint of a smile played across Alexander's face. Thomas couldn’t help but stare, his eyes were drawn to the soft smile on Alexander’s lips. 

Alexander raised an eyebrow.

The back of Thomas’ neck began to burn; he fought the urge to rub it. “You’re an idiot, Hamilton,” he said instead. 

“Miss you, too, dumbass.” Alexander’s smile widened. “Don’t burn the apartment down while I’m gone.” 

“You wish.” 

“Oh, and Jefferson?” 

Thomas looked up just in time for Alexander to wind his arms around Thomas’ neck and kiss him. Thomas stumbled back; his back hit the wall hard enough to knock the wind right out of him. 

“Careful,” he mumbled between Alexander’s insistent kisses. His hands found their way to Alexander’s hair and pulled it free from the ponytail. Alexander laughed; his hair tickled Thomas’ cheeks. 

“Coward.” 

Even after Alexander had pulled away, Thomas could still taste the coffee on his lips. 

“See you later.” Alexander untangled his fingers from Thomas’ hair. His hands lingered on Thomas’ jaw — Thomas leaned into the touch — before he finally pulled away. 

Alexander’s sly smile spoke more words than his mouth did. He knew exactly the sway he held over Thomas.

And yet Thomas couldn’t bring himself to worry about it. 

He found his voice for long enough to say, “See you later, Alexander.”

The moment Alexander was gone, Thomas leaned up against the door. His heart was pounding an executioner's drumroll in his chest. 

Even after all these years, Alexander never failed to take his breath away. 

“Thomas!” 

Thomas glanced down over the railing.

From down below — he was barely visible between the parked cars — Alexander looked up and waved at him. Thomas could see his smile even from such a distance, and that in itself was enough to soothe the longing ache already building in his chest. 

He watched as Alexander cupped his hands around his mouth and called out, “I miss you already!” 

And in spite of the pain in his chest — and the flowers he could feel burning their way up his throat — Thomas smiled.   
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and let me know what you think! Your comments mean everything to me.  
> A few people have messaged me recently and have inspired me to consider rewriting STJ. Please comment and let me know if you’d like that.  
> @swanofthelake on Instagram.  
> I love you all. Thank you for your support. Please excuse any errors. ❤️  
> Very self indulgent.


End file.
